


Jounin at twelve

by Dunloth



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Kakashi Week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-04 15:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15844212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dunloth/pseuds/Dunloth
Summary: “Sensei, how was your jounin exam? What did they ask you to do?”, Sakura asked, innocently. Kakashi then started a trip over some of his painful memories and noticed how much some things had changed through his lifetime, and others had not. Some reflections about shinobi morals.





	Jounin at twelve

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Kakashi Week 2018, Week 1, Monday. Prompt: Jounin.  
> https://kakashifest.tumblr.com/post/176246061952

“Sensei, how was your jounin exam? What did they ask you to do?” Sakura asked, innocently. The four members of Team Seven were sitting on the grass in the shade of the trees, taking a break from one of their daily sessions in the training fields by the outskirts of the forest.

Ah, that question. It took Kakashi back to memories he used to try hard to keep away from his mind. He still tried, but not so hard.

When did those memories start losing their painful edge? Kakashi didn’t really know. Perhaps it was several months ago, around the time he became a jounin-sensei with those three torments of children that started hogging most of his not-so-big reserve of everyday energy. No, definitely it was around the time he left ANBU. Sandaime was right. ANBU was draining his soul, taking him deeper and deeper into the dark. It was good to leave ANBU, Kakashi could say it now. Even if at the time it seemed like it was wrong, like they were removing the floor beneath his feet, taking away from him the only way of living he knew.

“Kakashi-sensei?” Sakura was looking at him with big eyes. Sasuke and Naruto also were looking at him, expectant. He had zoned out for a bit.

“Ah, Sakura, I had no jounin exam. We were at war at the time, the Third Great War. I got promoted based on my field accomplishments.” His pupils looked at him with awe, even Sasuke seemed a little impressed. Kakashi felt compelled to elaborate a little more, somewhat surprised himself for the way it seemed natural to talk about these past times. Not so long ago it would have been impossible for him.

“I was twelve. My jounin-sensei came to me after a mission and gave me the news and the scroll with my official new rank credentials.”

He remembered that very moment with a pang of longing. It was mid-morning of a rainy day, they were back in Konoha after an excruciating messenger mission right behind the front line. Kakashi, Obito and Rin were lounging in the back of the missions room, scraped and tired, looking at the rain outside, waiting for Minato-sensei to come back from submitting their mission report and getting the scroll for their next mission. When sensei came back he had a serious expression. “I have some good news”, he said, in a cryptic way. “Let’s go somewhere more quiet.”

They went out to a nearby small dango stand with no other guests around. Minato-sensei ordered dango and tea for them all, and delivered the news to the three confused and expectant chuunins. “Congratulations, Kakashi-kun. You have been promoted. You are a jounin now.” He smiled and handed the jounin credentials scroll over to the stunned boy.

“I’m very proud of you, Kakashi-kun. To become a jounin at twelve is a big accomplishment. I wish we could celebrate properly, but we have a mission tomorrow. So we all should go home and get some rest. Be ready for leaving at dawn.”

Kakashi thought that somehow Minato-sensei’s smile was not as brilliant and genuine as it used to be. Was he not really proud of him? Was he not happy for him? He felt disappointed, in spite of his excitement about the news, and the congratulations from his other two teammates.

Much later, years later, Kakashi finally understood why Minato’s expression was not sincerely happy, and why he didn’t feel like celebrating. A jounin promotion for a kid in times of war was a bittersweet gift. Minato cared too much for him to be happy at it.

Kakashi would never stop missing Minato, but with the passing of time the sad feeling was mixed more and more with warm feelings and it didn’t hurt so much remembering their moments together. It still was difficult with Rin and Obito, though. Still hurt too much, the guilt was too intense. Kakashi hoped it would get better with time as well. He hoped that someday he could also remember them and smile.

Kakashi forced himself back to the present to carry on with his narration. Where was he? Ah, yes, just getting the news about his promotion.

“I was expecting to be promoted at some point, we had been doing tough missions for some time by then. I was younger than the typical jounin, but war times require early promotions. To fill the gaps in the ranks.”

The three genins seemed to get the meaning of his last sentence. Their looks were more apprehensive now, Sakura was a bit paler that before, Naruto’s eyes were huge. Kakashi really didn’t want to scare them with crude war stories, but they had to be exposed to reality. They were shinobi, war was a possible outcome for their future. They had to be prepared for it.

“War is always looming above us. Don’t forget we are soldiers. But first of all, we are protectors. I would rather use my skills to defend our village than to attack another one. And rest assured that this is also the will of the Hokage and the Council.”

Was it? At this point Kakashi was too weary, too cynical to trust his leaders completely. He knew too much. He witnessed some questionable decisions taken by the heads of their shinobi system. More than a few. He thought about Danzo and Root, about many of his own ANBU missions. Konoha’s actions were not completely clean.

But it wouldn’t do any good to spill his bitterness on his team of innocent and hopeful genins. He didn’t have the heart to take the hope away from them. Let them find about the cruelty of the shinobi system by themselves. Let them try to be good people as long as possible. Let them mature and form their own opinions about the shinobi morals.

Besides, Kakashi felt immensely relieved that he was not forced to take responsibility of all those morally questionable decisions. He wasn’t naive enough to think that leading Konoha was easy. Only those without responsibility could dream of taking the clean path. But compromising, taking a dark path to protect Konoha, in its best interests, he could understand that. He tried not to be too judgemental about it. Otherwise he would have gone insane about some of the things he himself had to do for Konoha, for the Hokage. Loyalty was something he could commit to.

But taking those decisions… He wouldn’t be able. He wouldn’t want to be at the Hokage’s position, not for anything in the world.

“Yes! The Will of Fire, Iruka-sensei taught us about it.” That was Naruto’s enthusiastic reply, standing up with one of his wide grins and a raised fist.

“Right, Naruto, the Will of Fire. To protect our village and our beloved ones. Even in case of war, we should remember that. It should be our main motivation.”

They were silent after that. The genins looked thoughtful, apparently reflecting about what was said. Sasuke didn’t seem very moved. Kakashi hoped these kind of teachings were slowly making their way into the kid’s troubled soul, but he didn’t know what to expect. Sakura and Naruto usually responded a lot better to motivational teachings. They were really trying to do their best for Konoha.

“Okay, enough rest. Let’s go back to training. Chakra control exercises, it is. You three will spar while keeping a pile of four stones balanced over those slim branches over there with your chakra.” At this, they were all standing and preparing to resume their training.

“But senseeeeeeiiiii, the wind is moving the branches, it’s too difficult, the stones will fall,” came the whiny response from Naruto, as expected.

“Ah, but that’s exactly the point, Naruto. In fact, I just decided to make it five stones.”

Sakura and Naruto groaned at that. Naruto started, “But sensei…” Sakura cut him with an angry whisper, “Naruto, you idiot, better shut up before we get six.” Naruto groaned again but had the common sense of saying nothing more. Sasuke just sulked and started doing some stretching and warm up exercises before the sparring.

“Sakura, so accurate as usual,” Kakashi cheerfully replied. He pulled out from a pocket his favourite orange book and effortlessly jumped to a thick tree branch to pretend he was reading and not supervising the kids’ training. “Bigger stones, Naruto. Don’t cheat.” Naruto wisely managed to keep mostly quiet and just mumble to himself something about lazy, perverted, good for nothing jounin-senseis.

The rest of the training day went by in an uneventful way. Uneventful was good, Kakashi though. Uneventful was perfect. He was glad his kids didn’t have to grow up as fast as he had to. He was glad they were twelve and far, far away from being jounin.

The future was uncertain, but he would do all he could to keep things uneventful for as long as it was possible.

**Author's Note:**

> I made some changes in the canon scenes about Kakashi's promotion, I hope I didn't damage anything important to readers.


End file.
